Vows

For some, you can already see the panic when we get to this topic ahead of time. A lot of people find it very exciting not only to put their feelings on paper, but also to say it out loud to the love of your life in front of all your guests. But it's such a special thing, so personal, you won't forget this for the rest of your life. And that's why I always really recommend doing it.

But where do you start and what do you even say? If it's okay, you've never done it before and it's so personal that you can't easily get someone else's help with it either. So you really have to do it yourself.

What do you actually say in your vows?

The most important thing is to stay close to yourself. When you speak from the heart, it always comes across beautifully. Try to answer the following questions:

• What did you feel when you saw him/her for the first time?
• What do you like most about him/her?
• Why do you want to marry this person the most?
• What do you want (and can) promise for your future together?

Then make this a nice running story with a beginning, a middle and an end. Start with a story or anecdote, for example. So you have all the attention right away. Then go into the answers to the above questions for the “middle” and discuss the promises for the future at the “end”.

The vows often bring a tear to the guests, but of course that's not necessary. If you'd rather make this a very funny moment, that's okay, of course. Please note that this is not the time to roast your partner or give a slap.

How do you prepare your vows?

Good preparation is half the work. The better prepared you are, the less you will feel nervous when the time comes. Here are a few tips for good preparation:

• Start on time! You will notice that when you have started, over the days that follow, more and more things come to mind that you can include in your story.
• Agree beforehand how many words your vows will be and what topics are in your story. This prevents one from talking from the bottom of the heart for 10 minutes and the other from being a comedian for a minute. On average, everyone keeps half to a whole sheet of A4.
• Write out your text completely, so you can be sure you don't forget anything and it's a true story
• Practice your vows hard, that way you'll immediately notice which phrases speak well and which words might need to be changed.
• Record your vows and listen to them

How is that going at the moment?

After all the speeches and just before you say yes, it's time for your vows. The wedding official will ask you to stand up and nominate it. It is often nice to use a microphone for this, so that you can also be heard by everyone. Please note that if you have the microphone in one hand, you only have 1 hand left for your vow cheat sheet. So handy to have them on 1 sheet of paper (possibly double-sided).

As a wedding official, I always ask the bride about her vows first, but of course you can also discuss who goes first beforehand.

Stand directly opposite each other and look deeply into each other's eyes. Try to articulate clearly and speak calmly. You certainly don't have to do it out of your head, so it's really okay if you have to look at your paper a lot. It's even nice if there's a moment of rest when you take a look at your paper.